Tips For Navigating a "Year of Firsts..."

After a loved one passes away, the funeral service is a time for family and friends to support each other through the initial stages of grief. At the conclusion of the funeral is when the effects of the loss become truly evident for many families. When services conclude and tears begin to dry, mourners go back to work, laughter returns to rooms, and life returns to normalcy for most-But yours might still feel frozen.

At times, those experiencing grief may feel a sense of guilt in “moving forward” from the loss. This “moving forward” does not mean forgetting the life you had with your loved one, but rather developing a sense of acceptance, and living “alongside the loss”. With time, one can allow themself to feel the same joy they experienced before the passing, day by day, without feeling guilt. Grief is a very long process and has tendencies to fluctuate over time.

Oftentimes, there may be a fear of a life without the person- it can help to remember that while not physically there, the memories, lessons, and love the individual showed in life will always be with those they made an impact on. Some families find comfort in honoring the person’s memory after the loss through small rituals, such as cooking their favorite meal, writing them letters or acknowledging dates such as their birthday.

The anniversary of the death can be an opportunity for family to once again come together for support. The day can be used to celebrate the individual’s life and honor their accomplishments. Even if you do spend the day alone, plan to participate in an activity or hobby that will keep your mind occupied. As a way of honoring the deceased, the activity could be something they enjoyed doing during life. Furthermore, even a small act of remembrance, such as the lighting of a candle, is a great way to acknowledge your loved on the anniversary of their passing. Feelings of grief can resurface at any time following a loss, and it is especially important to acknowledge these feelings on anniversaries.

While depression is a perfectly normal stage of grieving, it is still wise to reach out for help when needed. If you feel as though you can’t eat, sleep, or generally function after the death of your loved one, you are not alone. Most funeral homes will be able to put their clients in touch with licensed therapists, counselors, or grief support groups.