Have you ever heard the phrase "When you die, you can't take it with you!"?

While you can certainly place small items in a loved one’s casket-such as jewelry, flowers, notes, and other small mementos-it is true that most of our physical belongings we acquire during life will be left behind.

When a loved one dies, one or multiple relatives are typically assigned the task of clearing out the individual’s home. This task can feel incredibly overwhelming: What does one do with all these things? How do you determine what should be kept, and what gets discarded?

There is not much that can be done to avoid the emotional weight of sorting through a person's belongings after their passing, there are steps that can be taken to ensure additional stress is mitigated.

Here is a short list of guidelines we recommend following in the event that you are tasked with such a responsibility. It is our hope that by following these suggestions, the process can feel a bit more manageable for your family and friends. 

1) Honor the wishes of your loved one

Prior to passing, many will decide themselves who particular belongings are to be passed down to. Making these decisions far in advance can be beneficial in easing emotional stress when the time comes. 

2) Acknowledge the Need for Assistance

Parting with a loved one is never easy. When the person also owned a significant number of belongings, the act of “letting go” can become even more stressful for those left behind.

If the amount of belongings feels overwhelming, don’t hesitate to reach out to friends and family for help. Having a second opinion while sorting through objects can be very beneficial in easing stress.

Furthermore, there are many companies that can assist with the transport and hauling of items that may be too cumbersome to handle yourself. 

3) Consider other family members

If there are family members that can’t be present to sort through belongings, simply ask if there are specific items they would like to set aside. Something that may not seem important to one individual, can hold a great deal of meaning and importance for another.  

4) Donation over Disposal

Throwing away items that others may be able to use can be both wasteful, and may even lead some to feel additional grief in the process

Many find comfort in the idea of donating items to a thrift store or clothing drop-off, as it ensures your loved one’s items have a chance to be “given new life”. If there was an organization or charity that you feel is special to your loved one, this is a great opportunity to support them with donations.

5) PACE YOURSELF

Sorting through a lifetime of memories and objects can rarely be done in one day. It may not even be completed in one week, or one month. There is no set timeline to how long it may take you to decide how your loved one's objects are dispersed.

Every individual is different-some may feel that the quicker they complete this task the better, while others may feel it is best to take their time. Creating a schedule for categories of particular items you'd like to have dealt within specific time frames may be beneficial for some, however it could create stress for others.

In conclusion, as human beings we place a great deal of value on our material possessions throughout life. From clothing and collections of trinkets, to family heirlooms and photographs-much of the significance we hold in these objects derives not from the objects themselves, but from the memories we associate them with.