Asking for what you need, and understanding your mental limits, is a skill that every relationship benefit from. This skill becomes doubly important in the wake of a loss as grief takes its toll.
Sorting out what you need from well-meaning friends and relatives can be difficult, especially when it feels like your grief is an overwhelming tidal wave. However, don’t be so quick to cast aside these lifelines when offered. Our guide will help you instead find healthy ways to ask for support and ask for what you need during these trying times.
First, Check Your Mental Limits
When a loss occurs, coping with the loss seems like all your mind can handle. If your plate is already full handling this much, trying to organize your other needs feels like a Herculean task.
Don’t feel pressured to pull yourself together. Let yourself feel, and let yourself acknowledge when you’re at your limit.
Second, Prioritize Your Needs
On days when the pain of the loss grows more manageable, take some time to conduct an inventory of your other needs. Often, a loss has shockwaves into other areas of our lives that we didn’t anticipate.
Do you now have to find a source of income? Do you have to organize the funeral or handle other final wishes and expenses? What about ensuring children are cared for? If you try to handle all of this on your own, you might collapse under the weight.
Try to sort out which of your needs can be delegated. If you have friends or family more versed in legal things than yourself, let them assist you with the planning process. If people have offered childcare to give you time to cope, let them share the burden.
Grieving is not a time for pride. The desire to show you have everything under control is understandable, but not helpful in the long run.
How to Go About Asking for What You Need
Now that you’ve established what your needs are, physical, emotional, or fiscal, it’s time to ask for help. In the wake of a loss, many offer their aid, so don’t hesitate to accept those offers when they come.
However, if people haven’t offered, don’t feel selfish asking for their assistance. Hold firm to your needs, and communicate calmly and clearly why you need them. If they can’t meet those needs, then don’t try to guilt them into meeting them.
Don’t equivocate, and don’t question whether you deserve their aid or not. You deserve not to handle grief alone. You deserve support.
A Gentle Reminder
Please keep in mind that not everyone grieves the same way and that even different losses can bring up different needs. You do not have to pressure yourself to feel or act a certain way in the wake of your grief. Just do your best to get through each day, and accept help when and where it is given.
Most of all, don’t be hesitant about asking for what you need. Sometimes, that’s the bravest and strongest thing you can do.
If you or a loved one have recently suffered a loss in West Grove, and need help with the aftermath, take some time to speak with our team today. We will do our best to help you navigate these trying times.
Are you in Southern Chester County and in need of cremation, funeral, preplanning, or any other sort of funeral-related help? Reach out to us today and we’ll happily help with any of your funeral-related needs.